Essence: Greeting One Another (2 Corinthians 13:12)

a discussion series from the pages of -
Authentic Relationships: Discover the Lost Art of "One Anothering"
by Wayne and Clay Jacobsen
ISBN 978-0-8010-6451-7

Lesson Focus: Greeting One Another (Initial Contact  – chapter 5 p.59-63)

Greet one another with a holy kiss. (2 Corinthians 13:12 ESV)
[there 5 greetings in the New Testament that reference a “kiss”]

Greet each other with Christian love. (2 Corinthians 13:12 NLT)

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” - Dale Carnegie (p. 59)

Greetings in the South, generally, and New Orleans specifically, are a big deal. Even the kiss is not culturally awkward here. What is your favorite Big Easy greeting?

How often do we mean it when we say, “How are you?”
People are very much in need of sharing their personal needs and experiences with someone who will listen. One of the warnings we receive as counseling students is to be cautious about a client who is more than willing to pay you to be their friend. What a different world it would be if saying “how are you?” meant we actually wanted to know.

Imparting a blessing with a greeting:
While she was there, Boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted the harvesters. “The Lord be with you!” he said.   “The Lord bless you!” the harvesters replied. (Ruth 2:4 NLT) - Boaz

May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. (Romans 1:7 NLT) - Paul

May God give you more and more grace and peace. (1 Peter 1:2 NLT) - Peter

Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit. (3 John 2) - John

Wrap Up: We have chosen a purposely relational environment to be the church. There are no marquee signs or yellow pages ads to draw people to Origins. When we make initial contact with new friends our greeting can say a lot about who Jesus is. This lesson could also have been titled “Make time for one another.”

“May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” (2 Corinthians 13:14 NLT)

Essence: Submitting to One Another (Ephesians 5:21)

a discussion series from the pages of -
Authentic Relationships: Discover the lost art of “one anothering”
by Wayne and Clay Jacobsen
ISBN 978-0-8010-6451-7

Lesson Focus: Submitting to One Another
(Partnering in the Journey – chapter 12 p.133-143)

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
(Ephesians 5:21 NLT)

and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
(Ephesians 5:21 NASB)

“[Submission] is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get your own way.” Richard Foster (p. 133)

Is submission an act of obedience?
We reject all shameful deeds and underhanded methods. We don’t try to trick anyone or distort the word of God. We tell the truth before God, and all who are honest know this. (2 Corinthians 4:2)

For God wanted them to know that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles, too. And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory. (Colossians 1:27 NLT)

We help others be transformed not by getting them to conform to our rules, but by encouraging their dependence on Jesus. (p. 137)

By freeing others from our judgment, our friendships can continue to grow instead of being snatched away from us by disagreements. Remember, God will work with others, even using what we consider to be mistakes to draw them deeper into His life and make them more sensitive to His voice. (p. 138)

Submission is an act of worship.

What about those who have been called into a leadership role?
Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit. 18 Pray for us, for our conscience is clear and we want to live honorably in everything we do. (Hebrews 13:17-18 NLT)

Life is too short, and good relationships are too awesome, to waste time trying to fix destructive ones. Loving them does not mean you have to submit to their control. (p. 147)

Wrap Up:  Submitting to one another taps into the flipside of freedom. “You are not free to do something unless you are also free not to.” (p. 140) There’s no trick, no gimmick; through Christ you have the freedom not to impose your way on one another.  We are not here to be religious, we are here to follow a revolution lead by Jesus Christ Himself.

Essence: Devotion to One Another (Romans 12:10)

a discussion series from the pages of -
Authentic Relationships: Discover the lost art of “one anothering”
by Wayne and Clay Jacobsen
ISBN 978-0-8010-6451-7

Lesson Focus: Devotion to One Another
(It’s Not All About You – chapter 4 p.45-54)

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; (Romans 12:10 NASB)

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. (Romans 12:10 NLT)

If we are going to participate in the joy of one anothering, we need to let Jesus rewire our thinking so that we are even more aware of others than we are of ourselves.  (p. 46)

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45 NLT)
This statement is the conclusion of a lesson Jesus taught the disciples about being more aware of others than we are of ourselves. Listen to the context of this lesson. [Read Mark 10:32-45]

What did Jesus do to help them rewire?
But . . . what happens when we try to put everyone else’s needs before our own?

As always one anothering is divinely created out of our love and trust in God. Jesus never did anything in his own power. He always acted on the will of his Father. The Holy Spirit knows nothing about burnout.

Expectations are relationship killers!
Jesus didn’t lace his relationships with expectations, and he refused to be trapped when others sought to put their expectations on him. (p. 50)
When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:32 NLT)
The popular saying is true: “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” We sabotage many of our relationships by imposing expectations on others or trying to meet theirs. It cannot be done. (p. 50)

When we substitute something like commitment for affection, we mistake the shadow for reality. As we experience God’s affection for us, we will find ourselves having affection in our heart for others.

Wrap Up:  Remember, one anothering is about devoting ourselves to those God chooses. Out of those relationships we will be blessed with a small group of believers with whom we walk together on this journey of one anothering. Look around and praise God! Saving the planet is His job.

Essence: Bearing With One Another (Ephesians 4:2)

a discussion series from the pages of -
Authentic Relationships: Discover the lost art of “one anothering”
by Wayne and Clay Jacobsen
ISBN 978-0-8010-6451-7

Lesson Focus: Bearing With One Another
(A Soft Place to Fall - chapter 3 pg. 43)

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, (Ephesians 4:2 ESV)

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. (Ephesians 4:2 NLT)

What is it like to sit across the coffee shop table from someone who is going through extremely painful circumstances and be at a complete loss as to how to help them?

It is a worthless feeling not knowing how to fix the problem.

Is your solution to the problem what is needed most in that scenario?

“Over the years the most helpful thing I have said to people in pain is simply this; ‘I want you to know, no matter how bad this gets, I will be there for you.’” (pg. 43)

Here is a favorite example from Scripture. [Read 1 Samuel 14:1-23]

“Do what you think is best,” the armor bearer replied. “I’m with you completely, whatever you decide.” (1 Samuel 14:7 NLT)

Wrap Up:  Our lives are rarely defined by actions and attitudes that are exhibited when life is going well. In our humanness we tend to label people during their greatest moments of pain. “She is a divorcee,” or “he is a workaholic who lost his family to neglect.” What if we looked at one another with mercy and grace? “She is hurting and I will bear the burden with her for as long as it takes.” Our Father has done this for us.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;  as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:11-12 ESV)