Authentic Relationships: Discover the lost art of “one anothering”
by Wayne and Clay Jacobsen
ISBN 978-0-8010-6451-7
Lesson Focus: Forgiveness (A Soft Place to Fall - chapter 3)
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
(Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT)
Not forgiving is like taking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die. - Anne Lamott
Forgiving and accepting are the detergents of body life that allow us to live free of the past. (p. 37)
Then he says, [The Holy Spirit] “I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds.” And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices. And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.
(Hebrews 10:17-22 NLT)
Being a soft place to fall doesn’t mean we become a doormat for everyone who wants to walk over us, nor that we ignore people’s actions. Forgiving and accepting others simply means that we won’t hold them accountable to us for their failures but will continue to respond to them with love and grace. [grace is the receiving of something we did not deserve] Forgiveness frees us from the destruction others cause. It does not make us a further victim of it.
We can forgive someone who is abusive without continuing to subject ourselves to the abuse. And our forgiveness does not mean that we should keep silent if that person seeks to hurt others. . . . Forgiveness does not mean that we will forget what happened or pretend it didn’t happen.
We are a soft place to fall when we love people through their failures and hurts as God draws them closer to Himself and transforms them from within. We will still speak the truth firmly but will do so with gentleness and patience. (p. 39)
Many people confuse forgiveness with reconciliation, which are two entirely different processes. Forgiveness is a unilateral act. . . . While it’s always worth the effort to see if reconciliation is possible, we are still free to forgive whether or not the offender ever acknowledges his failure. (p. 40-41)
Wrap Up: Don’t get discouraged when forgiveness doesn’t come easily. Forgiveness itself is less a choice than it is a process. Yes, we do choose to forgive, [Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.] but often it takes a work of God in our heart to lead us into the full depth and freedom of no longer holding something against someone else. (p. 41)
Next Week: Accepting One Another (A Soft Place to Fall – Chapter 3)
May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. 6 Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. (Romans 15:5-7 NLT)
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